Conflict styles
Five default modes from the Thomas-Kilmann model
About Conflict styles
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument identifies five default approaches to disagreement, mapped on two axes: assertiveness (concern for own outcomes) and cooperativeness (concern for the other person's outcomes). The five modes — competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, accommodating — each have legitimate uses.
The trick isn't picking one and using it always. It's expanding your range so you can choose the mode that fits the actual situation, rather than running the same default into every conflict you have.
The 5 Conflict styles types
High assertiveness, low cooperativeness — wins the contest
Plays to win the disagreement, sometimes at relational cost.
High assertiveness, high cooperativeness — both win
Slower, deeper conversation that finds the third option.
Medium assertiveness and cooperativeness — meet in the middle
Both give a little, settle quickly, move on.
Low assertiveness, low cooperativeness — sidestep the conflict
Doesn't engage. Sometimes wise, often not.
Low assertiveness, high cooperativeness — yields to the other
Lets the other party win. Generosity, or self-erasure?
Conflict styles through each zodiac sign
Source
Kenneth W. Thomas & Ralph H. Kilmann · Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument · 1974
Personality frameworks are tools for self-reflection, not diagnostic instruments. For mental-health concerns, please consult a licensed professional.